why is it so hard for people to express how they really feel? am I just involving myself with the wrong people?
I think I have forgotten how to communicate with people beyond the usual pleasantries. when talk to people, i find myself just responding with “i’m good.” I no longer feel like saying how I really feel and opening myself up to vulnerability when nobody will do the same for me.
And by “alone” I mean single with absolutely no current romantic interests in any person. I found a need to “reset” my emotions, I’ve spent so much of myself on others.
It’s not a forever thing, but I’ve found joy in being alone. Watching my favorite movies, eating my favorite foods, and finding new music. In order to truly get to know another person, I need to get to know myself. Lately people have asked me what my hobbies or interests are, and I’m not even sure anymore.
Take some time for self-love and self-care, and never place all your eggs into once basket.
We all deserve to be happy. If you ever are finding yourself in a situation where your personal happiness is dictated 100% by ensuring another person is happy, it’s time to rethink your life situation.
For so long I’ve deprived myself of joy. I choose to be happy. In order to be in love, I need to feel the love, for myself.
Fingers crossed that my adventures I have planned over the next few months will restore some joy into my life.
I met my soul mate once. I’m not sure what we were, but the whirlwind time that we spent together I can never forget. It wasn’t always perfect. There was many moments of love, and of anger. But the passion fllowed.
Now that it’s over, I’m not sure what else to do. I guess try new things, but nothing excites me anymore.
I want to know you
Every dream and every fear
I want to hear the sound of your breathing
The sigh in your voice
I want to see your hair blow in the wind
The touch of your skin
The warmth of your embrace
The sound of your voice
“I wanna say thank you for giving me everything I always wanted. A love to consume me, and passion, and adventure. There’s nothing more I could ever want than for it to last forever, but it can’t…” Elena, The Vampire Diaries
Most of us have at least had one big love in our lifetimes. We spend all our lives being taught that we will get married when we become adults, have families, and lead a fairly generic life.
I grew up believing in this so called fairy tale of a life. But my life didn’t end up that way. I nearly died in my early twenties, I ended up being gay, and I’ve accomplished a great deal on my own.
In the midst of everything, I found love. I saw him, and things never were the same again. It was a whirlwind courtship, and I am not sure where it began and where it end. Only recently did we both decide to rid our lives of one another. I do miss him, but I don’t want him back. I am not mad or upset over anything. I was given a love that I had always dreamed of. I got exactly what I asked for.
But now that it is over, I have lost touch with who I am. I am easily bored, and not really interested in much anything beyond doing the things I need to do to make sure I am taken care of. I don’t even know where to start when it comes to dating.
In the midst of all this however, I have found joy. I have accepted my imperfections. I have come to love the scars that cover parts of my body. I have become proud of my accomplishments, and have found a self-worth that I never had before. So where do I go from here? I do not know. I’ve decided to devote the rest of this year to getting to know who I am. Find out what gives me passion, and what do I truly enjoy doing.
In
Most people who no me either say I am a prude or just down right picky. I often swim against the tide when it comes to social norms. For example, my generation is big into “hookups” or otherwise known as casual sex. I’ve always viewed casual sex as a primitive act. To me, sex is about opening up your soul and baring it to your partner. I am aware of how structured and rigid I can be, so for a while I had this mentality that I would let myself experience things that others found joy in.
I had a casual sex friend, well, a casual oral sex friend. To make a long story short, he is a curious “straight” male who has a feitish for going down on guys. He would harass me for days on end, and I would finally let him blow me to get him to leave me alone. Finally after years and finally telling myself that all I was to this man was an object of his sexual desires, I finally broke off contact with him.
The lesson here for whomever is reading: you are not just an object. You are a beautiful person with a lot of offer somebody. Do not allow yourself to become somebody’s tool. A quick easy climax is not a substitute for love. Love yourself. If you love yourself, you will bring more love into your life.
Let there be light 